Even if the only pictures you ever show are landscapes, or closeups, or flowers, or horses, someone is going to ask you to make a family picture. Here are five inevitable facts about family portraits, and one great tip to beat them all.

  1. Kids under five always put a hand in the mouth. Always.
  2. Middle children under eleven always make funny faces.
  3. Parents are always stressed about the kids making faces and putting hands in mouths.
  4. The best picture of the kids is the one with dad scowling and pulling hands out of mouths
  5. Older kids (and dads) hate family pictures because dad was always pulling on their hands and scolding them for having fun.

The one tip I can give you to beat all these issues and help make family pictures is this:

Don’t say Don’t!

If you (or dad) say, “Don’t put your hand in your mouth,” the kid only hears “Put your hand in your mouth.” Instead, try, “Put your hand on your mom’s hand,” or, “Put your hands in your pockets,” or, “Put your hand on dad’s leg.” Giving kids something to do is infinitely more effective than telling them something not to do. (Hint: this works when teaching kids to ride a bike, too. “Go that way and don’t hit the mailbox,” always ends up with a kid wrapped around a mailbox.)

Similarly, when kids make faces say, “Oh, that was a good one; what else you got? Ok, how about mad? How about a sad face? Now do ‘cool’. How about serious? Can you do thoughtful? Ok, let’s see a gentle face.” Fire off a bunch of frames. Give the kids a direction to go in, and they will follow.

The most important thing to do before you start, however, is to talk to the parents. Try something like this, “I’ll take of the kids’ faces and poses, you guys just keep looking at the camera and smiling. The best picture of the kids is usually the one where Dad is looking down to make sure they’re smiling, so you just keep looking at me. I’ll make several exposures to be sure we get the right expressions.” Give the parents something to do (look at the camera).

Kids hear ‘don’t’ all day long, and it’s not an enjoyable word. At picture time, if parents aren’t scolding kids and yanking on their hands, everyone has a better experience, which means next time the kids will enjoy themselves more. Your subjects will rave about what a great photographer you are before they even see the pictures.

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Join the conversation! 11 Comments

  1. Simple and effective idea!

  2. “Don’t so don’t” is a great tip and could probably be applied to almost everything! Thanks for that one.

  3. This is genius ! (and such simple concept !) lol Great article 🙂

  4. Thanks, gang! I know it’s helped me to have happier shoots, which means happier clients. Let’s see the pictures you make on the Facebook and the G+ community!

  5. This is a great tip. I’m just starting out as a photographer, and a bit antsy about photographing kids. Thanks for making the idea slightly less intimidating!

  6. Some truly excellent tips here. Have used a number of these previously but it’s always a good thing to learn better and more effective ways of working! Thank you for sharing these. Best regards, Rob @ RLP

  7. […] look back into the lens. But this is important: you should tell him specifically where to look. Just like kids, teens and adults respond best with positive directions. Try these directions while you work and […]


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About Levi Sim

Passion drives Levi to make photographs, teach, and help new friends. He tells people he's a photographer, but he really does more than just make pictures. His professional photography is primarily commercial work for businesses, both small and large, and he really helps show how great it'd be to work with those companies. He excels at photographing people, from two-year-olds to oil field workers to couples married for 60 years, everyone has a good time making pictures with Levi. Besides people and businesses, Levi enjoys all other aspects of photography, and practices landscapes and still life, as well. Other people enjoy photographing everything, and Levi wants to be able to help, so he practices as much as he can to be ready to help. He also runs a local photography club, is a Rotarian, actively helps at church, is a husband, and poppa to a peppy four-year-old girl. Levi writes regularly for Photofocus.com and is co-author of books on Adobe Lightroom.


Photography, Portrait, Shooting, Technique & Tutorials